What Lisa Wants In a Guy:
1) No excessive drug use.2) No excessive drinking.
3) Must be reliable, trustworthy, and know what a secret is.
4) Must be family oriented.
5) Must not have ever or want to ever kiss or want to do her friends, especially while they are going out with Lisa.
6) Must be fun and exciting-and NOT a workoholic- time for the kids will be needed (when that time comes...which it will...5 times).
7) Must never tell Lisa how 'cute' she is. EVER EVER EVER EVER! Grr!
8) Must be doing something with his life, not in the area of "I'm a big money fiend and will kill all for money."
9) Must be caring and loving toward the world and people in general - not anti-social!
10) Must be smart (not necessarily book smart, but not dumb, either).
11) Must love Lisa's friends and family (especially Kerri, my homeslice) as much as she does.
12) Must be sporty/active (hiking, basketball, etc.).
13) Must respect Lisa's no sex before marriage decision.
14) Must respect the fact that Lisa is ugly and not funny even though she thinks she is.
15) Must make Lisa laugh and smile every day no matter what the circumstances are.
16) Must appreciate Lisa's complete craziness and love her to death because of it.
17) "Time? What the F is that?" Must get that quote.
What Lisa will settle for:
KERRI'S GUY REQUIREMENT LIST
What Kerri wants in a guy:
1) Must be willing and able to intelligently discuss classic authors and literature, especially the works of Shakespeare and Austen.2) Must always be willing to eat at Hometown Buffet.
3) Must be willing to take Kerri to see 'chick flicks' and must not make fun of her when she cries (which she will).
4) Must be willing to make out with Kerri's face on a regular basis.
5) Must be willing to register for wedding and baby shower gifts (if the relationship goes that far), as well as do all shopping, at Target. (Except for linens, which will be bought from the Martha Stewart line via K-Mart).
6) Must let Kerri sing as much as she wants, and pretend to enjoy it.
7) Must be willing to have a spring wedding so you can spend all summer having sex before Kerri goes back to school (as a teacher).
8) Must love Kerri's friends and family as much as she does.
9) Must not have a crush on/'want to bang' any of Kerri's friends.
10) Must be willing to leave the house one weekend a month so Kerri can have F.B.W.'s with Julie.
11) Must be willing to admit that Kerri and Lisa share a brain.
12) Must be ready for a serious relationship, and to fall madly in love with Kerri.
13) Must remember it is the small things that count, and that romance is a good thing.
14) Must be willing to make fun of yourself, because if not Kerri and her friends will do it for you (but in the good, loving way).
15) Must make Kerri laugh and smile every day.
16) Must exhibit Chandler Bing-like qualities.
What Kerri will settle for:
1) Must be funny2) Must be a man i.e. penis
3) Must not want to screw her over for one of her friends.
4) Must be willing to engage in her fantasies ever moment of the day.
5) Must be willing to go out and buy her weekly odd food cravings whenever they appear.
6) Must be willling to dress according to her fancy.
7)Must be willing to do it on the art room tables.
8)Must be willing to dance naked while singing to me.
9)Must be willing to remind me of how obviously beautiful I am on a minute by minute basis.
10)Must be willing to become a member of the mile high club with me.
11)Penis must not be detachable.
12)Must be nice enough looking that i can tell them apart from a woman.
13)Must be able to watch hours of The Simpsons with me.
14)Must respect, adore, and completely trust me with all his heart. (and do it every night!!)
15)Must be able to make fun of me when I am stupid, but in a loving way.
What Catherine will settle for: